MY JOURNEY TO LOVEFEST AND BEYOND - Part 2

So now that I healed myself from an autoimmune disease I thought I discovered something special and could heal the world. I wanted to help others so I joined forums and wrote a blog about how I healed myself. I told many that had Crohn's Disease how they could heal themselves. I was criticised heavily for it multiple times. I was called a liar. I was told that it is dangerous and should stop, some said that the disease would come back, some said they were disgusted in me. Eventually I stopped trying to help because it was all too painful for me to hear.

That year was around 2010. I had a positive divorce with my ex wife after being in an open relationship for the final 2 years of our marriage. I started a relationship with a woman who was an alcoholic for 4 years, which I found out after moving in together. She was drinking relentlessly every morning, afternoon, and night without any water and barely any food. She had gone to rehab and tried different things but kept relapsing. I decided to have this mission to help her to go sober. I thought "I've helped myself heal and now I can help someone else".

I remember trying everything to make her stop but nothing would work. I felt helpless. She would wake up in the mornings sometimes surprised to still be alive after no food and only alcohol passing out often. She suffered from severe depression and sometimes just wanted to die. She started saying things like “I’m still alive? why? At least I am breathing” then came the words “grateful to be breathing”.

I faced many demons, both mine and hers. I cried like I have never cried before after discovering and getting in touch with my own emotions. I discovered the fullness of pain and suffering as well as true compassion. I started questioning my existence and what is the true healing power. If I was to be able to put it down to one word. It's.......... LOVE. Self Love is what healed me and It seems that I may have helped her by giving love to myself first and then responding to her with Love time and time again as often as I could regardless of what was happening and how tumultuous it was.

We were together for 2 months when I reached some strength in self-love within myself. (As we shift internally our external shifts). She then decided to stop drinking and went into seizure that night. It was pretty scary as she was shaking and unconscious until the ambulance came. She went to hospital, became sober and stayed sober for the remainder of our 5 year relationship and beyond. I decided to not drink myself when I was around her and hardly drank alcohol when I was not with her. I thought if she can do that so can I. (not easy). The relationship was very intense and toxic but also very loving, with the final year ending in peace. We are still good friends to this day. I realise that she was the one that made the changes in her life also becoming a personal trainer and gym manager in a short period of time.

I practised the Hawaiian prayer/mantra quite often. It goes "I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, AND THANK YOU. I would connect to the trigger emotion in my body and repeat it over and over again. I became relentless with LOVE and I never gave up on LOVE. And guess what... It worked.

Love for self first and then Love for the other.