MY JOURNEY TO LOVEFEST AND BEYOND - Part 3

First I healed myself from an autoimmune disease, then I helped a loved one heal from alcohol addiction. Both times I was told by many that it is not possible. So the next question I asked was “How do I help the entire world heal?” The answer was “By helping one person at a time. And it begins with me” . I was inspired by my ex partner to become a Life Coach. Little did I know how much this would change my own life.

I held my first free workshop to 23 people in the city just before I finished my life coaching course. It was called “Step Into Your Greatest You”. From this came my first paying client. Although at my next workshop I only had 4 people attend which were all my friends except for one person who was a friend's friend. I felt like a failure but kept going and eventually after much effort things became more consistent.

I loved the beach and I loved supporting people to change their life so I created my dream job with Nature Based Coaching Sessions at the beach as well as waterfalls and bushwalks.

My clients would come to my place at Umina Beach, all the way from Sydney and I would get paid well for it.

However there was something else happening for me, which I was unaware of. I was distracting myself from the darker side of me. Living alone was not easy. The kids would come over on the weekends, however being single now and no community became very lonely. I would go to the beach often and produce music which helped, but I also left the TV on and watched it almost every night. I was distracting myself from my emotions by keeping myself busy. I knew that trying to escape from my emotions was not the answer. So then I switched the TV off and the music off and just sat on the couch in......... SILENCE.......

The pain was excruciating. I watched my thoughts, I felt my emotions in my body and let myself just be with them all fully. I remembered Eckhart Tolle’s words. “I am not my thoughts and I am not my emotions. I am the observer of these”. However sometimes the pain was so intense that I just ran out to the beach and immersed myself in nature. I was so grateful for the Ocean, the sun and clouds in the day and the stars at night.

As I continued to allow myself to feel my emotional discomfort, I continued to give myself love and gratitude for them and for the nature that surrounds me.

I eventually reached a place where there was more bliss and gratitude, and the silence became my friend. By allowing myself to be with and accept my loneliness and guilt, and shame and other darker emotions, I became more powerful with myself. I had more self-control. I was able to create more joy in my life by just being. I was able to create better connections with others. I realised I had addictions of my own that I was not aware of. Unconscious behaviours that were formed because of childhood experiences.

According to Neuroscience research 95% of our behaviour is unconscious. I had now learnt to be more conscious of my unhealthy patterns. So the more aware I was of these patterns the more power I had to change them. Which means the more I change my patterns, the more conscious I can be.

Another thing that started happening for me was that the more I was feeling emotions in my body the more I started to get in touch with my intuition and my purpose in life. I actually learnt to connect with my heart more. That’s when the real magic started.